The truth is, love is random. No matter how hard you look for it, no matter what you do to try to manufacture it, no matter how “right” someone is on paper for you, if you don’t feel that chemical spark, it’s not going anywhere good.

Sure, you can improve the odds of finding love by dating as many people as possible. Maybe you’ll even compromise on passion in favor of compatibility. Whatever works for you, have at it. But if we all want the chemistry of lasting love, and we know that chemistry can’t be manufactured, then the key to improving your love life is pretty simple.

Stop feeding The Fantasy.

The Fantasy makes us afraid to be alone. The Fantasy drives us into the wrong relationships. The Fantasy makes us afraid to leave bad relationships. The Fantasy makes us ruin relationships that are good. The Fantasy makes us feel bad about ourselves if we don’t have a partner. The Fantasy makes us second-guess our instincts. The Fantasy is bogus. The Fantasy is clearly not working for a hell of a lot of people.

So it’s time to REDEFINE The Fantasy.

In the months to come, we’re going to reverse the old paradigm. Turn off the auto-pilot. Try on some totally new perspectives. And start a revolution.

The revolution is about change. Changing the way we look at love. Being better prepared to love someone. Understanding how important it is to know who you are before you look for another person to complete you. Consciously cultivating completeness. Living an incredible life in the process. And ultimately, improving the statistics.

It begins with a series of questions. Questions that will invoke the truth of who you are and the life you want to live. Answers that will lead to more satisfying relationships. And a new road map from the world’s most fascinating thinkers, philosophers and people on their own crazy journey. Let’s think of it as a blueprint, a reference list, a gut-check to live by. We all know there’s no manual for love, but according to the statistics, there damn well ought to be. Your manual can only be created by you.

Starting next month, I’ll be gut-checking my own theories around the world and, if nothing else, giving you some new food for thought. Subscribe to the video podcasts to see who I meet. Better yet, meet me out there -- on your own proverbial journey.

Keep in mind that this is a conversation, not a sermon. I ask not only for your feedback, but for your active participation. Got a great question for the world to ponder, or a lesson you’ve learned? Is love taking shape in your life in a way you didn’t expect? Write me. Redefining the way we look at love is something we need to do together.

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